Giving Up Control for Lent

"Let go, let God."

We've all heard that familiar saying, popularized by worship circles, charismatic meetings, and retreats in Christian churches all across America.

What does it mean, really?

I'm setting out to find out this Lenten season.

Instead of worrying about not having a job and how I'm going to make ends meet while I try to pursue my lifelong dream of getting a college degree (which will be challenging enough in it's own right), I'm going to "let go and let God."

I agonized for two weeks prior to Lent about what I was going to give up for the forty days. Last year, I said I was going to give up cursing. I never made it through Ash Wednesday. Up until two weeks ago, I couldn't much see the point of making sacrifices. I mean, haven't I lost enough already? My job, my livelihood is gone and I am still mourning that and feeling more than just a little angry with God at present.

I decided I would give up chocolate since I've done that before and got through it with just a little temptation, nicely resisted. I still felt like I was short-changing Jesus, who didn't lose a job--but rather gave up his life, for me, on the cross.

Jesus said, "Your Father in heaven already knows what you need." He says, "Let today's troubles be sufficient for today."

So, I decided to give up on giving up. I'm going to practice perseverance and stick-to-it-iveness.

This Lent, I'm giving up control. I'm giving my circumstances over to the Lord.

I'm letting go, and letting God.

"Hero" by Skillet

When God Closes a Door...He Opens a Window!

It's more than just a worn-out cliché. It's true.

Today I went to take the placement test at St. Petersburg College as part of my dream of returning to school to seek my Bachelors Degree in English.

I needed to take the placement test in order to get enrolled in some classes toward AA degree for transfer to a higher institution since SPC is rather limited in its choices of Bachelor degrees.

All this after being laid off from my job two weeks ago.

I am not one to waste time when I get an idea.

I thought I would do badly on the math and algebra portions of the test, and I was not wrong. I have to take three (YIKES) remedial algebra classes before I can even begin to take the two required college mathematics courses for the AA. Having not done any serious algebra work in over twenty years, the results of the math tests did not surprise me. Somehow I will find the strength I need to get through all these blasted math classes. If I've had a hard time trying to pray lately (and I have!) then maybe it's time to start trying harder.

There was a silver lining, however.

I scored high enough on the reading and sentence skills portions of the test to be eligible to take Honors Composition.

This has led me to believe that God gave me this writing talent for a reason and it would simply be a waste of His precious love for me and a waste on my own part, not to pursue it.

So, I'm jumping through this window. Head first...feet first. Doesn't matter. As long as I land where I'm supposed to be.

A Thought on Martin Luther King Day

Jesus undercut the basis for all violent, exclusionary and punitive behavior. He became the forgiving victim, so we would stop creating victims ourselves. He became the falsely accused one, so we would be careful whom we accuse.

~Fr. Richard Rohr


One of my Facebook friends posted this on FB and I wanted to share it.

Maria Kelly

Your Cross: A Prayer of St. Francis de Sales

The everlasting God has
in His wisdom foreseen
from eternity the cross
that He now presents to you
as a gift from His inmost heart.

This cross He now sends you
He has considered with His all-knowing eyes,
understood with His divine mind,
tested with His wise justice,
warmed with loving arms
and weighed with His own hands
to see that it be not one inch too large
and not one ounce too heavy for you.

He has blessed it with His holy Name,
anointed it with His consolation,
taken one last glance at you
and your courage,
and then sent it to you from heaven,
a special greeting from God to you,
an alms of the all-merciful love of God.

Voice of Truth: A Little Inspiration

Reinventing the Wheel...Again

In the last post on my fiction writing blog, I lamented that I did not take any time during the holidays to do much writing or even any research on my various projects.

Be careful what you groan about.

I joined the ranks of the unemployed yesterday.  I was laid off from my job after working there for nearly six years.

As you might imagine, I am not too pleased by this sudden increase in free time, particularly since I have not hit the lottery yet. I hold no grudges, of course, these things happen to everyone. I am always grateful for any opportunity to learn something. I learned more about two of my favorite sciences, the sciences of the mind (psychology and psychiatry) that will no doubt be a great benefit to my writing and I made some friendships and acquaintances that I hope will stand the test of time.

This is going to be a very scary time for me. Going "on the dole" is hard, but I've been there before and I'll be joining the hundreds of thousands of others who are already there. I wish I could say that I find a little comfort in that. But, I am becoming increasingly aware that this could be an opportunity for me to reinvent myself again. Perhaps I could go to school and take classes in something I really like, maybe creative writing? I've also thought of the skills I have amassed over the years and I've wondered if teaching others (adult education?) might be a rewarding experience, mentally, spiritually and (most importantly) financially. I have tentatively looked into freelance writing. Maybe I can do that while I wait for something more permanent to come along.

Another thing I will be doing is incorporating the Adsense feature on my blogs. I would ask that my friends, family and anyone else reading the posts on these blogs will click on an advertisement from time to time, even though they may have no earthly intention of buying anything (unless it's a self-published book of mine, then by all means, please feel free to purchase as many copies as you like). I will make a few cents with every click and over time it will add up. It will be a nice $20 addition to the bank account every six months or so, maybe. I didn't really want to put ads on my blogs, but I need to rid myself of this dislike and look at the fiscal side of things.

I am scared, but I'm also aware that God has a plan for me and that as of right now the plan has changed. Here is a trial, He says. It will make you a stronger and better person. I must have faith.

I went to Walmart after I left work yesterday. I was in a daze, in shock from the news. There is a church on one of the streets I drive down that has a marquee in front. The sign said, "Be confident in chaos." I believe that was God sending me a message to hang in there: The world will always let you down, but I never will. Trust in Me. Everything will be all right.  

On the plus side, I have some time to write.